If you would like to have your thoughts and memories added to this page, please send an email to remembrances@rookhallan.com.
ylvathrall
I will go ahead and start. Rook was a good friend to me. We often chatted about random things, games I was running for her and characters and other interests. She introduced me to some good communities. She was the one who picked out the name I now use online. It doesn’t get more personal than that. She was one of the best players I ever had, and I know that I will remember her, with great fondness and sorrow for her loss. Now, in the wake of her passing, I feel so empty inside, this profound awareness that I’ve lost something and I can never get it back. It means so much to me that I got to share her life, that she chose to talk to me in her final days. I will do my very best, moving forward, to share the love and encouragement and support that she brought to me. She told me that friends are Grace in action, and she was Grace to me. My world is a colder place without her.
Rest in peace, Rook. You are not forgotten.
Bly
Rook was someone who I most remember because of her passion for ethics; injustice galled her. And she was never afraid to speak up when she felt something upset her. I always respected her conviction. And because of her passion for tabletop gaming. I don’t think I’ll fail to smile when thinking about the game Mage the Ascension, because Rook and I used to talk about it. I am a transgender man, and I was around when Rook came out online; I was the moderator who switched her tag to our trans user tag. She would often come to me with site questions or general social questions. More than anything, I could tell she wanted to be supportive of those who have been hurt or oppressed, of those whose lives have been hard, of those whose lives need a spot of brightness. Rook tried to be that light. I believe she often succeeded. There were times Rook’s depression made her doubt herself, but the rest of us never doubted her resolve and compassion.
Esoterica
I will remember that she was one of the first people from Elliquiy that I spoke to when I joined. She reached out to me, and we talked often, and she was a good listener. Even when she was sick or was having a bad day of her own, she would be there, to listen. She was that awesome. I’m going to miss her.
Freecloud
I didn't know her long but the past few months dealing with my own identity issues, it was hard at first to feel secure and safe. Rook was one of the bright faces and voices there, guiding me, making me feel okay to shed shells, to be me. I will miss her greatly.
KnightOfCups
I wasn't very close to Rook, I am sad to say, and we didn’t know each other for very long, but we gamed together for a time, and interacted a bit in the chat threads. She was fun to game with. I always enjoyed her input, and it always gave me a smile to see her little capybara avatar. She was always kind to me and I'll miss her.
Thank you to ylvathrall for setting this memorial page up for her. I'm so sorry to all who were close to her for your loss.
ranson.
I chatted with Rook on occasion, and was glad to know her that way. Outside of that, I always knew that when I saw her name or avatar attached to a post, that it would be important to read, and that I would have a greater understanding of the subject afterward, whether through knowledge or empathy.
Talia "Elli" B, aka Elli B#4698 on Discord
Rook was my best friend.
She helped convince me to transition with her, for which I will forever be thankful; I owe my present happiness and gender euphoria to her encouragement. We called each other sister. Every day on Discord without fail, she would message me in the morning, saying, "My name is Rook and I'm a girl." I'd respond with something like "You sure are, girl." And we'd go about our days.
We met when I was recruiting for a Bliss Stage game on the Cambridge RPG club wiki, of all things - I had been entertaining thoughts of a fan-VN, and had released a game on the Lemmasoft forums about a closeted trans girl named Talia starting to come out in college, called Transformation Sequence, which I had utterly failed to apply to my own situation. (Rough work and full of gratuitous references to then-current OELVN projects. Still proud of it. Need to revise it.) One of the Cambridge mods had released a cute little thing called Elven Relations which I critiqued, and invited me to contribute to his wiki, and I ended up running a game for them over IRC. Rook was a late arrival, playing a Devoted Lover poached from another failed Resistance Cell and the Anchor to an Innocent Sweetheart.
She later told me it was the first time that a tabletop game had made her cry.
Much later, at least seven years later, she invited me to Ambercon Northwest, which is the first time I met her in person. She also introduced me to P. H. Lee while I was there; they took me out for Sichuan, and Big Trouble In Little China was playing on the screen at the restaurant there. At the con, with me, Rook played Monsterhearts and Breakfast Cult and my MLP-inspired Apoc World game, ran Chuubos for me for the first time, and always of course played Amber Diceless.
So if she never met me, she would never have played Bliss Stage and known who P. H. Lee was; and if I hadn't met her, I would never have gone to Ambercon and met P. H. Lee. Funny world we live in. It's fucking me up that one of my big ties to her is a project I need to abandon for moral and safety reasons - there's a reason I don't go by Bliss Authority anymore.
I've met about half of my online friends through Rook. Anders. Most of the old BSVN crew. The Jennafans Discord. A hell of a lot of games held over IRC and Roll20.
She always liked capybara. Said she aspired to their levels of zen, to their being utterly shaped like a friend.
So I leave you with this in her memory.
Farewell Rook. May flights of capybara take thee to your rest.
AscendingApe
I didn't know Rook exceptionally well, but I considered her a friend, and have nothing but good memories of talking to her. I will miss her presence, and pray for peace and comfort for her family.
Goodbye Rook, I hope to see you on the other side.
zasvid
I've held Rook in high regard and it's terrible that she's gone. Condolences to everyone who's been close to her.
CWalck93
I knew Rook through the Doom Chat thread but still, this definitely hurts.
Thanks for the information and what happened...
Vibes to those who knew Rook personally as well as the extended family and friends.
empulsive
Rook was kind and supportive and encouraging and helped me through some tough moments, even as she dealt with her own troubles. She still took the time to comfort me and lift me up. She's already become a big part of my personal story going forward, even though I barely knew her and she barely knew me. She will be missed, and I will try to be for others what she was for me in these last few months, in her memory but also because it's the right, good, loving thing to be.
Thank you, Rook. RIP.
Arethusa
I haven't known her that long. I've only been on the RPG.net forums for two and a half years. In the early days, when everything was confusing and accounts were difficult to remember, she stood out for her kindness and inclusion, especially in the Doom Chat threads. If I saw the capybara avatar I knew there was a post worth reading.
As I got more used to the place she and I crossed the streams now and again on this and that, talked games and humanity, LGBTQA issues and more games. She was generous and big-hearted and funny and smart and she made this place better for being a part of it.
I'm so sorry she's gone.
Snow Goon
I'm so sorry to hear this. I didn't know Rook well at all, but was always grateful to her for being one of the first people to comment encouragingly on one of my posts here. I never forgot that she'd been so welcoming.
Leif
Didn't know her well, only from Tangency posts. But she was a cool and pleasant presence here and the world is indubitably poorer for the loss of her. Ave atque vale.
Baroness Nerak
Rook was an absolute rock on the Wilde Side, always with a kind word for anyone looking for help or with questions. She is the last post on my personal thread there. The halls of the Wilde Side will be quieter and less celebratory for her passing.
The Watcher
I mostly crossed paths with Rook on the PbP forums as a fellow PC. Was going to be in another one with her in fact before this happened. I’m sorry she won’t be there like she had planned and there won’t be another chance to game with her or see her elsewhere on the boards. And I’m sorry for the loss of all her friends and family here. The world will be poorer without her.
inoshiro
We weren't close, but the first PBP I ever played in (last year), Rook also played. She contacted me on Discord—which surprised me—and then she surprised me even more by being unflaggingly positive, patient, and encouraging to a newbie, and a thoughtful and creative player too. I noticed how she helped make this forum a brighter place, and I too liked seeing her capybara icon come up on threads.
All of this is, well... not very deep or moving, and I hesitated to post on this thread but then I decided I should because what I'm saying was that Rook was someone who I was glad to have met, and who helped add a little brightness to the world. That seems worth saying to me.
I'm sad to hear she's gone. My sincere condolences to those close to her.
nd
Rook was a great player in my PbP games, and she always had a kind word for us all, in and out of play. Her presence on The Wilde Side was wonderful and cheering. I'll miss her.
ZeroiaSD
Rook was a fun person to have on the forum, and it's a great tragedy to lose her. What I knew about her, I liked. My condolences to her friends and family.
mike
hello all,
thank you to ylvathrall for starting this, and a deep thank you to all the folks who are sharing their warm memories of Rook =)
i've known Rook since we were both about 13 years old, just to help date the archeological age, Rook and i formed a fast friendship on the school bus while talking about Lost Worlds books and other gaming shenanigans. it was a friendship that would endure our entire lives.
i don't have much to add here, other than to say thank you (through my tears), and to confirm what many of you already know. that Rook was a sweet, kind, funny, and compassionate person. what you have written here about her and the interactions you have had all line up pretty directly to my meat space experiences ;)
i know Rook loved the big purple and we talked about it frequently, thank you, wisdom and compassion to all.
Meriss
I first met Rook when I joined rpg.net. Back then she had a different user name. I will not use this name because I am not sure of the etiquette.
I was always encouraged to read this person's posts and settings. I always remember their characters with fondness and a smile.
When I returned from my self imposed hiatus I was saddened that this person no longer seemed to be on the board.
I rejoiced when I learned that this poster had simply changed their user name. I never questioned why. I merely updated my mental processes and moved on.
I watched and learned that this person was, is and always will be Rook. I congratulated her on her new chosen pronouns and updated my mental processes again.
I will miss her. And I wish that she had more time in this world.
Red from E
I knew Rook through E, she was one of the people who was welcoming to me even though I was a newbie and a stranger and terribly shy and everything else that comes with being in uncharted waters. I knew her before she came out as non-binary, ages before she let us know who she really was. I’m glad she got a chance to before the end.
I will miss her courage to speak her mind and that her heart was always in the right place. I will miss how open and honest she was. I will miss her.
She was away for awhile, and I always just assumed we’d touch base again, I was happy to see her start being active again. I wish I had reached out. You never know how little time you have left until it is too late.
At least I know she’s in a better place.
Fly free my sister bird.
Gremlin
I met Rook a year ago on these forums. I'm not very active here, but she graciously invited me to a pbp game she was going to run, the first I ever played in, then a few months later a second game we played on Discord.
I will always appreciate how welcoming she was to me and her kindness to everyone she interacted with. I admire the creativity she brought to games and her courage to be herself. I'm going to miss the community we shared in Discord.
You will be missed Rook, but never forgotten. Be at peace.
McDoom
I find myself with pain but no words.
shoepixie
So Rook was one of my best friends. Not dealing well but another friend linked me to this thread n I wanted to say sommat. I never really hung out here for reasons that don't matter but I know when Rook spoke of this forum it was positively. Always tried to get me to hang out here more, saying it was a safe and cool place. That's really good. Anyhow I can't read the thread yet but knowing people filled up eight pages about my friend is really good. i hope there's gonna come a day I can. knowin Rook had all these supportive people here..... Anyhow. I'm shoepixie about everwhere, so please reach out if you wanna share memories or just connect.
nuadha silverhand
Hello,
I have just joined. I have known Rook for about 20 years through the Ambercon community and we're completely devastated (as I am sure all who knew Rook are). The con will not be the same.
Jmsaul
Hi. I’ve also come here from the Ambercon community. Like Nuadha, I’ve known Rook for around 20 years and have appreciated her sharp intellect and, well, “lateral approaches to gaming problems” kind of states it. When I saw that she was in a game I was in, it made me happy. Man was she smart. And deep. And a collector of obscure knowledge.
One of my fondest memories was of playing The Shab Al-Hiri Roach at my house with her and a couple other old friends, where we had to take a break because we were literally laughing hard enough to make ourselves sick. She could be utterly, brutally hilarious and I don’t want to forget that.
I’ll miss her.
Hail the Traveller. (There’s a pun there. She’d get it.)
BethDragon
I'm so sorry to hear about Rook's passing.
When I asked for help earlier this year in a new avatar for myself here, Rook created my bee and then went the extra mile to change the modly black circle more into the hexagon of beeness. My condolences and hugs to those who knew her more and feel her loss more sharply.
smilingbandit2
I didn't know Rook too long - we played a number of PbP games on the forums here - but I have always considered her one of the best players here.
I also came to consider her a friend. We never met in person, but we spoke almost daily on discord and in our games. She was the first trans person who was close to me, and she made me far more conscious of the biases in my thinking that I had previously taken for granted.
Her passing is a terrible loss to her family, her friends and the world as a whole.
Goodbye Rook. Thank you for showing me how to walk the walk and not just talk the talk.
malcolmpdx
Another Amberite here. I think I met Rook about 10 years ago when a friend of mine and I were running a large, larp-ish game for the first time at an Ambercon, and Rook came up with a fantastic character - and ended up becoming the villain of the story. Played to the hilt I might add. She returned as the same character for another game in a following year, and then moved on to other things, but the story she started continued, and has continued, as an on-going con game for 10 years now, and shows signs of continuing on even longer. For that, I will always be grateful.
I will also be grateful for her presence in other games I ran, smaller, more intimate affairs, where her knowledge and ability to think deeply about the undercurrents of whatever action was happening came to the fore. Always surprising, always welcome.
And I will be grateful most of all for the long talks she and I had on such a enormous range of subjects over the years, during the non-game parts of the con; it's rare I find someone who is quite as interested as I am in all the weird and forgotten bits of human knowledge, of all the strange and wonderful oddities in the world, and how they all fit together, and getting the occasional chance to really let loose on that with someone who was right there with me, and then past me, was a joy. Something I looked forward to. Something I will deeply, deeply, miss.
And her laugh.
I am happy I got to meet you Rook. I think I told you that. I hope I did. I will call you friend, and miss you.
Bolthy
Thank you for starting this. I knew Rook for 15 or so years though the Ambercon community. I knew little about her personal life but I really appreciated her wisdom and experience with games. There were conversations I wanted to have with her that won’t happen now. Rest In Peace.
Ben Lehman
I'm posting here under an old name b/c that's my account.
When I first met Rook, she bought me lunch and proceeded to tell me about how important my games were to her, the ways in which they had helped her, with a big side-helping of telling me about her character (I love hearing about people's characters). Later, having the memory of these stories would be literally life-saving to me (it has gotten me through times when I was convinced that I had never done anything positive in the world). I never told her how much that one conversation mattered to me and I wish I had.
She was a good friend to me for years. She was utterly brilliant role-player and storyteller. She was wildly creative and thoughtful and her ideas were fascinating. I will carry some of her characters in my heart forever.
I miss her so much. She couldn't come to Ambercon NW this year and it wasn't the same and I remember telling myself that she'd be back next year.
Jim Reader
I didn’t have the privilege of knowing Rook for long. It was an honor to know her, to be her friend.
Since her passing, every day has held something - an idea, a piece of music, a quote - that I wish I could have shared with her.
Thank you, Rook, for being a part of my life, however briefly.
Sonata
I didn't know Rook for long, but what time I did know her I came to see her as a confidant who not only understood my struggles but gave wonderful advice. I miss our daily little chats about anything and everything that was weighing heavily in our lives, looking up on Discord and seeing that adorable little capybara. She will be greatly missed. Fly free Rook, I wish I had gotten the privilege of knowing you longer than I did.